The Cursed Glasses
by Winged-Violoncelle
Summary: In Hyotei Gakuen on this very day, there is no tennis and there is something WRONG with Oshitari Yuushi's glasses. Pure crack, nonYaoi. Old!Story. Yes, I fully intend to finish this, even after all these years, though this will not be revised, so read at your own risk :).
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Prince of Tennis.

**Yue: **All righty. You see the summary. Read ahead.

* * *

**The Cursed Glasses**

"Ore-sama is bored."

Atobe Keigo thought grudgingly as he suppressed a yawn. It wasn't cool for Atobe-sama to yawn in public; but tennis practice was cancelled because the courts were flooded by a nearby faucet, which Oshitari Yuushi forgot to turn off the day before. "Some tensai he is." Atobe scoffed and rolled his eyes. A fangirl walked by and spontaneously burst out crying, apparently thinking Atobe-sama was rolling eyes at her.

The popular heartthrob simply ignored that crazy fangirl and walked along, arriving at the disastrous-looking tennis courts. Atobe sighed and turned to the faucet that caused this, thinking of the culprit Oshitari. The tensai was _not_ going to get off easy, for Atobe had 300 pushups planned in mind for him, _immediately_ after the courts are cleaned up.

Suddenly, something by the faucet caught his eyes. It was small, but very shiny. Light scattered from the water reflected upon the flat surface of this puny object. Atobe scowled and looked closer.

It was a small pair of glasses. The rim was silver, and the lens were fairly small and perfectly round. No mistake – they were definitely Oshitari's glasses.

As Atobe picked the delicate little thing up, Shishido Ryo and Ootori Chotarou approached the faucet. They both seemed absent-minded and bored. After all, everything they were looking forward to – tennis – perished for the day, all thanks to the so-called tensai of Hyotei Gakuen. It was only natural that they'd come by and grieve for a while.

"Ah, Atobe. Grieving?" Shishido put a hand on Atobe's shoulder and asked.

"Yes." Atobe sighed as he waved the glasses, "Have you seen Oshitari? He seems to have left his glasses here."

Ootori blinked, "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen Oshitari-san all day."

"Ahn… Ore-sama wonders where he went." Atobe scowled.

Shishido scoffed, "Don't think he was at school today. Jeez – just when we all want to find him and eviscerate him…"

"Err… Shishido-san…?"

"What! Chotarou, don't _you_ want to swipe out his intestines? Weren't _you_ the one who wanted to get math over with and start tennis?"

"Yes, but I'm sure Oshitari-san didn't do it on purpose. I'm sure Oshitari-san would've wanted to play tennis as well. Eviscerating people never really solves anything."

"Chotarou, you're too nice. That could be a weakness in life. Listen to the elderly, I say."

Atobe impatiently interrupted, not pleased of being left out a conversation, "Stop your philosophy of life for one second. Tell Oshitari that Ore-sama is looking for him if you see him, and Ore-sama will just give these back – "

All of a sudden, his eyes sparkled. The brilliant Atobe-sama has just made a fatal decision – to keep Oshitari's glasses. After all, he wanted to punish him as soon as possible, and he'd rather start now than tomorrow.

"Erm, Atobe?" The doubles pair inched away at Atobe's malicious grin.

"Ahn… Doesn't Oshitari adore these glasses?"

"Why do you think he wears it all the time? He doesn't even need glasses." Shishido scoffed once more, "Oshitari just likes to appear intelligent and cool."

"That's good." Atobe smirked, "Ore-sama will keep these glasses and torment the troublesome tensai. If his popularity diminishes because of the lack of glasses, it is probably a better punishment than pushups, right, Kabaji?"

Kabaji, who appeared suddenly out of nowhere, nodded, "Usu."

And then, the two marched away, leaving Shishido and Ootori rooted to the spot, still paralyzed by the evil aura surrounding the place.

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Shishido murmured as Ootori nodded in agreement.

* * *

**Yue: **As you can see, this is only the prologue, and it is very short. However, this _will_ get long and hopefully funny. This is indeed my first attempt on Hyotei-centric… So please be nice and review! Also, check out my site at www. freewebs. com (slash) worldofhwk . Get rid of the spaces, and insert slashes. Thanks a whole lot!


	2. Misfortune 1: Atobe Keigo

**Disclaimer: **Here it is again – I do not own Prince of Tennis. How many times does one have to say that?

**Yue: **All right! My Hyotei bashing begins!  
**Oshitari: **Bashing, huh? This shall be fun to watch.  
**Yue: **Of course – but wait, aren't you in Hyotei?  
**Oshitari: **But wait, aren't I the one who _caused_ all this bashing?  
**Yue: **…Oh, you're right!  
**Oshitari: **My, my, how forgetful. So, I shall sit back with you and enjoy these bashings while sipping on a cup of hot chocolate – it's nearly Christmas, and it's getting cold.  
**Yue: **Seems like I'm not the only sadistic freak around… Merry Christmas!

* * *

Misfortune 1 – Atobe Keigo

With Kabaji beside him as always, Atobe haunted the campus, sweeping by all possible places to alleviate his boredom. Within fifteen minutes, he has been around the baseball club, the kendo club, the sumo wrestling club, the gymnastics club, the badminton club, and the basketball club. Surprisingly, unlike always, there were no one – no fangirls – there to greet him. You see, Atobe-sama never passed by easily; there were always clogs of fangirls coming up to him yelling "Atobe-sama is my only prince" or "Atobe-sama is so cool", or "Atobe-sama, you make my insides jump around like a crazed beloved monkey"… But today, no, there were none – absolutely none. What insanity was this? Even though Atobe never thought high of fangirls, one knew how much he adored attention… and when nobody paid Atobe-sama any attention, well… Atobe-sama just didn't feel right.

Atobe scowled dubiously at the fangirls, apparently occupied with something more important than the object that made their insides wiggle like crazed monkeys. He wondered why they didn't care that he was around. His mind came across many possibilities, but none of them came close to the truth – the fact that he was wearing Oshitari's glasses.

And why was he wearing Oshitari's glasses? Because now that he's got hold of them, he wanted to experience these mysterious glasses himself. Oh, they were interesting glasses, all right. Atobe always wondered why Oshitari was so obsessed with these little lenses. He did not understand, and never will. Wearing these glasses did not at all differ from not wearing them, and yet these glasses were so precious to this strange poker-faced tensai. It added a mysterious touch to his face, and it was exactly that mystical feeling that makes _his_ flock of fangirls scream. However, Atobe was not aware that these glasses had effects _only_ on Oshitari. He was not aware that he looked completely nerdy in those glasses, and that all his charms had been lost upon wearing these little demons. These glasses were designed for Oshitari Yuushi, and for Oshitari Yuushi only.

Then again, Atobe knew none of that, and he had no mirror (not surprising). Therefore, he had no way of knowing that the girls thought of him as someone else as he walked by. He merely pondered on the strange matter, and finally managed to convince himself that it was a good thing – after all, he never liked fangirls.

But apparently, making others appear ugly was not the only thing Oshitari's glasses could do. As Atobe walked by a beautiful willow tree – the tree he had always adored, the tree that always blew so elegantly in the wind – the glasses got caught in one of the hanging branches.

"Huh?" Atobe twitched uncomfortably, trying to turn around to see what was going on – but he could not, for the branch was _extremely_ entangled in the delicate frame of the glasses, and he could not even bring himself to turn his head around. "Kabaji?" He called for his faithful servant, but no answers were heard. For some strange reason, Kabaji seemed to have gotten separated from him in that unusually quiet walk – which really shouldn't have happened, as there really weren't many people swarming towards them as always. Atobe rolled his eyes and reached for the glasses, ready to take them off his face, but suddenly he realized that he couldn't; the surprisingly flexible willow branch had somehow swooped some of his own hair on the way of entangling the glasses, tying them firmly together. Unless Atobe wanted to yank a large part of his own hair off, there was no way he could get those glasses away from his face.

And there was no Kabaji there to help him.

Thus, Atobe Keigo was stuck under the willow tree, standing there like a forgotten statue. Nobody approached him, for nobody except for the strange Atobe Keigo liked that willow tree, and on top of that Atobe was wearing _glasses _and looking completely unnatural. The only one around whose strangeness matched Atobe's was this eerie guy who was wearing a mask in the _summer_ for whatever reason. Finally, after decades of burning sensation in the skin under the hot sun, Kabaji found his master – after all, the only one who still recognized Atobe at the moment was probably Kabaji, because Kabaji was there when he put the glasses on.

"Ah, finally, Kabaji," for the first time in Atobe's life, Kabaji seemed to resemble the greatest saint there was. Immediately, Atobe yelled for his faithful servant, "Get these tree branches off my face _now_."

"Usu." Kabaji nodded as he grabbed onto the glasses and pulled hard. Atobe dug his fingernails into his palm to endure the pain, at the same time raging out, "YOU IDIOT! You think I haven't thought of that? I am not sacrificing my own hair to get these _stupid_ glasses off!"

"Usu." Kabaji nodded again, and then left, without explaining why.

"Wait, Kabaji - " again, for the first time in Atobe's life, he wished that Kabaji would just _talk human_, explain, and _not_ say "usu". He has finally realized the disadvantage of having a loyal slave who would do nothing except echo his own words.

It was always fascinating how history has the tendency to repeat itself. Atobe Keigo was to stand under the boiling sun with sore legs and a stiff body for another good fifteen minutes before his loyal servant Kabaji came back with a pair of garden scissors.

"If you chop off Ore-sama's precious and incredibly well done hair, which Ore-sama has just gelled this morning, Ore-sama will kick you out of the tennis team." Rather alarmed by those _abnormally_ large scissors, Atobe threatened, while Kabaji just nodded, "Usu." Then, instead of chopping of Atobe's hair, which even _Kabaji_ was not stupid enough to dare to do, he chopped off the troubling branch.

Atobe Keigo was too relieved to be away from that tree to realize that Kabaji has just added an extra touch of ridiculousness to his already ridiculous appearance. Now, as opposed to only glasses, he was wearing Oshitari's glasses with a willow branch hanging down from the upper part of his right ear. He was able to wander in public again, all right, and he achieved more than enough attention – everyone he encountered was glaring at him like he was crazy, without knowing that it was Atobe, of course. Atobe-sama would never let himself walk around wearing glasses with a branch hanging off of it. But Atobe being Atobe, he has again somehow convinced himself that this was a good thing – after all, strange attention was better than no attention.

Soon, Atobe and Kabaji arrived at a faucet on the other side of the campus across from the tennis courts. They found Mukahi Gakuto lingering leisurely around. "Hey, Mukahi," Atobe waved, but the redhead, in reaction, bounced up rather violently and ran straight towards the faucet, pressing the button and diverting the water straight towards Atobe's face, "WHO ARE YOU? HYOTEI GAKUEN ALLOWS NO RANDOM INTRUDERS!"

Despite Atobe running out of the way as quickly as he could, his whole upper body was dripping water. "Calm down, Mukahi. It is Ore-sama."

Mukahi turned his face to a different angle, mused for a while, before finally asking in a dubious, small voice, "Atobe?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Oh, so that's why Kabaji is there! Sorry, I didn't exactly see Kabaji." Mukahi smiled apologetically at the slightly angry Atobe, "But what's with the glasses – and worse, what's with that branch?"

Atobe scoffed, "These glasses aren't Ore-sama's. And what branch are you talking about?"

"Um, Atobe. There is a _willow branch_. A _willow branch_ is hanging from your ear."

"… Oh. Did Kabaji not clean that off really nicely?"

"… I guess not?"

"… Oh."

Mukahi sighed hopelessly before jumping up violently once more, "Atobe, b-b-b-by any chance, are you wearing _Yuushi's glasses_?"

Atobe smirked, "Yep. Ore-sama found them beside the evil faucet that cost us our practice. They were just lying around. And Oshitari's been disappearing. Ore-sama assumes that holding his glasses hostage will urge him to appear."

Mukahi waved his arms, freaked, "But Yuushi's glasses are _cursed_! Didn't you know? You can't possibly wear, or even _possess_ Yuushi's glasses without encountering misfortunes!"

Atobe dubiously raised his eyebrows, "No, I have not heard of that, and Ore-sama believes in no curses."

"You better believe in it, Atobe! Yuushi's glasses are _cursed_!" Mukahi put as much emphasis on that last word as possible, "I personally have experienced the curse! It is indescribably freaky! How do you think I got so short in the first place? When we were both Ichinens, I jacked Yuushi's glasses one day just as a prank, and as I wore it I realized that the glasses are practically useless, therefore I found it fun to wear. On that _frackin'_ day, I accidentally shoved five wasabi rolls from the lunch down my throat at the same time; I yelled for water, but received _hot_ chocolate – hot chocolate on top of wasabi! An hour later, I walked into the girls' change room and… well, yeah. When I walked home, I stepped onto an open sewage cover – I'm glad I didn't fall down, but my foot got stuck and I broke a bone. That's why I'm growing so slowly – the doctor said that I damaged my growth plate! Mind you, I had that pair of evil glasses on while I was in the hospital healing my leg, and the nurses couldn't stop accidentally dumping water and food on me. The frenzy stopped only when Yuushi came to see me, and, naturally, took his glasses back. From then on I have never had a day as bad as that, and I vowed to never wear Yuushi's glasses again. Atobe, you need to take it off _now_. Everything will go wrong for you – unless you dispose of the glasses or unless Yuushi gets his glasses back!"

Atobe raised his eyebrows higher, still unconvinced, "Ore-sama does not believe so. It was just a coincidence."

"I've been in that hospital for _fifteen_ days, and food was dumped on my bed _every single meal _for _fifteen days._"

"How much did it cost to stay for fifteen days?"

"Three million yen (1)."

"That explains it – it was just a bad hospital. The hospital I stayed in for a fever last year cost five million yen (2) per day."

"You and your rich family." Mukahi sighed. He didn't expect Atobe to listen to him anyway. After all, Atobe-sama stuck to what he thought was fun and right. "Well, fine. Leave it on. I must wish you good luck."

"Thank you." As Atobe turned away from the distraught Mukahi, he rolled his eyes. _What a paranoid guy, Mukahi Gakuto._

* * *

But he didn't expect himself to change his opinion so soon.

Atobe ran and ran, probably that horrified for the first time in his life, from a gang of angry girls, all holding pepper sprays. In the last ten minutes, he has bumped into a school pillar, been splashed by a car that was for some reason in the campus, had an apple pie thrown in his face, been accidentally kicked in the behind by Kabaji, tripped from a sidewalk crack, and worst of all, exactly as Mukahi described, somehow entered the girls' change room. Now normally you would expect Atobe to be received with an abnormal amount of passion – but he was wearing glasses with a willow branch hanging from his right ear, not to mention that over half of his body was wet with fountain water. Nobody was able to recognize Atobe-sama; therefore, you get an equation: Atobe-sama + glasses + willow branch + wet droopy hair equals extremely scared girls holding pepper sprays ready to fend off this unknown creature.

And it was very unfair too – because for these disastrous ten minutes, all Atobe was trying to do was to get to the boys' washroom, clean that branch off, and brush his hair. Yet now, that task has become an impossible mission, and Atobe felt so much like Tom Cruise – a…very abridged version of Tom Cruise, anyhow. But Atobe-sama ran fast, that's a fact. The girls could not catch up with him, but they followed, determined not to spare such an intruder to their wonderful private space. Finally, Atobe arrived at the then so heavenly washroom door, and this time he looked up to make sure it said "Boys' washroom" before entering. For once, something was right – it was indeed the Boys washroom that he entered. Without further hesitation, Atobe rushed towards the mirror, wondering just exactly how appalling he looked.

As he approached the mirror and saw his own reflection, the scene turned to look exactly like Edvard Munch's famous painting "Scream". Atobe-sama looked so ridiculous that even himself saw the reflection as a stranger. He could not help screaming so much at that awful appearance - so much that all the boys who were there exited the bathroom, thinking that a lunatic has invaded. Without a pause, Atobe started yanking at the troublesome glasses, determined to get them off even if he suffered a bald spot in his beautifully impeccable hair.

Maybe the glasses felt sorry for him, for Atobe got them off surprisingly easily. But then again, such ease greatly contrasted with the amount of strength Atobe used; his hand flew forward and brutally hit the wall. And also, because Atobe used so much strength, the right side of the swooping part of his hair has been pulled slightly shorter, making his usually perfect hair imbalanced; but that could be fixed with just a little trim, and just getting these plagued glasses off satisfied him greatly. He briefly attempted to fix his hair and went out again, where Kabaji was holding off all the angry fangirls, and ran frantically around the campus trying to find that cursed Oshitari Yuushi.

He didn't, of course, because Oshitari Yuushi appeared to not be at school today, but he did, however, find Akutagawa Jirou sleeping peacefully under the largest cherry blossom tree in the school.

"If Ore-sama suffered because of that troublesome Oshitari's stupid glasses," Atobe smirked evilly at Jirou, who had an angelic expression on his face, unaware of the disaster that was about to strike, and mumbled to himself, "Others shall experience these horrifying events of what Ore-sama has experienced… as well."

His grin widened as he tossed the glasses onto the sleeping blonde, still looking so naive and happy.

"Good luck, Akutagawa Jirou."

* * *

Atobe walked back to the bathroom, looking for his loyal slave Kabaji, apparently still fending off those violent girls, "Oi, Kabaji."

His fresh appearance has startled all the girls, and the pepper sprays were soon forgotten as all of them swarmed around him in one-millionth of a second, "EEEEE, it's Atobe-sama!" "Atobe-sama, how have you been? Why are you so wet?" "Atobe-sama, why is your hair uneven? Can I trim it for you?" "Atobe-sama, I love you so much…"

Atobe grinned and answered the questions so gratefully for the first time in his life as he thought,

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Akutagawa Jirou

(1). About 30000 US dollars!  
(2). About 50000 US dollars!

* * *

**Yue: **BWAHAHAHAHA…  
**Oshitari: **That was a failed evil laugh.  
**Yue: **What? Come on, I tried. Anyway – how'd you like it, everyone? Next victim, as you can see, is Akutagawa Jirou!  
**Oshitari: **Jirou, huh? I shall be looking forward to that.  
**Yue: **… Sure… My god you have no sympathy for your schoolmates. Anyway, review? It's a wonderful thing that makes my insides jump around like crazed beloved monkeys.  
**Atobe: **…  
**Yue: **Please review!


	3. Misfortune 2: Akutagawa Jirou

**Disclaimer: **I do not, in any way, in any form, in any whatever you can think of, own Prince of Tennis, sadly.

**Yue: **An update!  
**Oshitari: **Took you a year.  
**Yue: **So did not!  
**Oshitari: **Are you saying that it is not a new year? Are you saying that it is not the year 2008 at the moment?  
**Yue: **-.- Whaaaatever. Anyway. Akutagawa Jirou is the victim in this chapter!  
**Oshitari: **I can't wait to watch. Happy New Year, everyone.  
**Yue: **Happy New Year – meanwhile, Oshitari-san, we should go get a drink. This will be fun to watch.

* * *

Misfortune 2 – Akutagawa Jirou

Jirou just wanted to sleep.

He did get sleep. After all, that large cherry tree was Jirou-reserved. If a Hyotei student walked by and did _not_ see Jirou there, that Hyotei student would probably question his/her position in reality.

But then again, just sleeping was not enough. Jirou wanted sleep _and_ good dreams. Well, not surprising, right? One who loved sleep must also love good dreams. And for one who slept so often like Jirou, good dreams were a necessity.

So, supposedly, Jirou did _not_ enjoy that sleep, even though he slept for quite a while that day… nothing was worse than dreaming so peacefully and then all of a sudden seeing Kabaji Munehiro's face – _the _Kabaji, who always disturbed his heavenly sleep. To Akutagawa Jirou, _nothing_ was worse than seeing Kabaji in his dreams. It was simply the worst that could possibly happen on this vast planet.

But apparently, that wasn't the case. Usually, sensing anything that took the shape of something even close to Kabaji would wake him up immediately. This time, despite having Kabaji chase him around the school tennis courts for fifty laps straight, the dream _did not end_. Jirou knew he was asleep, and he wanted to just open his eyes, but, for probably the first time in his life, he couldn't. So, in Jirou's supposedly sweet dream, he had Kabaji chase him around the tennis courts, lift him up, and hand him to Atobe to be punished – meaning, pushups. Finally, an apple somehow landed on Jirou's head, waking him from that complete insanity.

As Jirou woke up he screamed. That was too terrifying of a dream. But once he got over it (well, it _was_ only a dream), he squirted his eyes dubiously at that apple in his hand. Even though he had one of the worst dreams possible, he didn't want to be waken up so abruptly. And seriously - where did that apple come from?

Jirou looked up. No mistake – it was indeed a _cherry_ tree he was sitting under. The closest apple tree in Hyotei Gakuen was approximately 500 meters away, not to mention that apples were not ripe until May.

So where did this perfectly ripe apple come about in _late March_, when the cherry blossoms, not apple blossoms, are blooming their prettiest?

Jirou, not much of a science person, did not dwell on that illogic for long. An idea of him being Newton's descendant (and therefore attracting apples) crossed his mind briefly, but the blonde immediately laughed it off. If he were indeed Newton's descendant, there would be _no_ way that he was getting 2s (1) in the sciences.

Jirou took a bite at the apple and stood up. He stretched and yawned. Despite Kabaji appearing in his dreams, it was still a long nap. He smiled at the nice wind, and he was startled when he heard something drop onto the ground. The apple was still in his hand, so that couldn't be it. Jirou narrowed his eyes and looked down. There, laid a pair of small, round, shiny, reflective glasses.

"What are these?" Jirou picked them up carefully, "Glasses? What are glasses doing here on my sleeping body?"

He poked a lens very lightly with the tip of his fingers, and snickered, "Heehee, they're so small and round! Figures – they must be Oshitari's glasses!"

Waaaaaaaaaait a minute. Oshitari's glasses?

"GAHHHHH, OSHITARI'S GLASSES?" The blonde screamed in terror, attracting curious glances from all over the place, "These glasses are _cursed_! WHY HAVE THEY RANDOMLY SPROUTED UP HERE AND DESTROYED MY PERFECT SLEEP?"

Jirou was among one of the few who knew of (and believed in) the curse – but that was only because Mukahi's unfortunate encounters during first year has affected Jirou as well. You see, it was Jirou who had offered Mukahi the so-called "water" as the latter shoved down five wasabi rolls – and the water, which was water just moments ago, somehow transformed into _hot_ chocolate. Jirou was also in the hospital everyday to see Mukahi, making him a witness of nearly all the food-dumping incidents. Even if the hot chocolate incident didn't convince him, the food-dumping did. After all, one didn't have food dumped on you _every single day_, no matter how bad the hospital.

And here were the glasses that caused Mukahi Gakuto to become so short – right in front of Jirou's own eyes, and worse, right inside Jirou's own _hands_!

Without any hesitation, Jirou decided to immediately run away from this place, and look for that troublesome Oshitari Yuushi. But of course, the magic of the glasses gave him a beautiful splat in the face before he could make any progress. As Jirou groaned on the ground, he realized that a crack has appeared where no crack ever was before. At the thought of the curse already clawing up on him, Jirou screamed even louder, and scrambled up from where he was as quickly as possible. He sprinted frantically down the path, unaware of a masked eerie guy, the same guy that hang around as Atobe was stuck under the tree, standing right in front of him –

CRASH

"Ahh, sorry, sorry, sorry," Jirou apologized. These glasses, these glasses! "Whoever you are, can you tell me – have you seen a guy by the name of Oshitari Yuushi?"

The masked eerie guy said nothing and did nothing, as if Jirou did not exist. Then again, one did not know whether the masked guy had any facial expressions on at the time, for he was indeed masked.

"Ooookay." Deciding that talking to this masked guy was a waste of time, Jirou continued along the path, bumping on to three trees on the way before disappearing out of sight. Finally, the masked eerie guy let out a sigh, before he unleashed a word in an extremely heavy Kansai accent –

"Jeez."

* * *

Oshitari Yuushi Jirou did not find, but he did, however, meet Sakaki-sensei. It was not at all a pleasant meeting, due to the presence of the cursed glasses – as Jirou turned around a corner, he brushed by Sakaki-sensei's random arm which just _happened_ to be there. Worse, Sakaki-sensei was holding his (afternoon…?) coffee – and instead of having that hot coffee spill onto Jirou, the cup reversed and splashed all the _burning hot_ coffee onto Sakaki-sensei's perfectly straight face.

While Jirou stood there bowing (extremely) apologetically towards Sakaki-sensei, he was relieved that the coffee wasn't on him – maybe the glasses has lost power since seventh grade.

But that was definitely not the case. Jirou was not a master at hiding his emotions, and Sakaki-sensei easily saw his relief. No doubt, he was not happy. Slowly, the teacher restrained his twitching and opened his mouth, "Akutagawa-kun, I need an explanation."

Jirou shuddered. He _knew_ that tone. "But, but, but, sensei, by Kami-sama's might name I swear, whatever you might've seen or heard or whatever, it was an accident – I just happened to – your arm just happened to – and…"

"That is not what I mean." Sakaki-sensei crossed his arms and glared at Jirou icily, "My recent music theory test – why is it that you, who has always been okay at music, got a miserable **1** on it?"

"WHAT?" The blonde exclaimed. **1**? "But sensei, I studied so hard for that! There is no way – look, look, Oshitari the awesome violinist _helped_ me study! For two consecutive night classes! There must've been a mistake in the marking!"

Sakaki-sensei scoffed, "I thought so too, and I looked over your test again. But all I could do was improve that to a 1.5."

Jirou did nothing but glare at the glasses in his hand.

"So, I have decided," Finally, Sakaki-sensei cleared his throat, "I order you to come to my office tomorrow afternoon in order to redo the test. And no tennis."

"NO TENNIS? AGAIN?" Jirou bounced up in protest, but Sakaki-sensei merely trotted away with a wave of his hand, "You're dismissed."

Jirou was rooted to the ground for another good five minutes – music theory makeup test _and_ no tennis!

"OSHITARI YUUUUSHIIII!"

* * *

When Jirou finally found a familiar face – Shishido Ryo, he was in a near-death situation.

One wouldn't blame him, for much has happened since Jirou first stepped off to find Oshitari Yuushi, which was no more than fifteen minutes ago. First of all, while he was running frantically yelling for that cursed Oshitari Yuushi, he tripped over a floor tile and landed into the Hyotei Gakuen swimming pool. Inside the pool, his foot got caught in a broken rubber duck – a _huge_ rubber duck that was big enough for one's foot to be stuck in it. It was strange, too, for Hyotei Gakuen's swimming pools were for fairly mature youths, and there was just _no_ way that anyone would bring rubber ducks around.

When he finally managed to get rid of that rubber duck, a member of the sumo wrestling club approached him, apparently mistaking him for a long time rival. Poor Jirou was therefore lifted into the sumo wrestling room and forced to wrestle a guy nearly twice his size. He did not win, of course, because he had not the foggiest idea how to even _normal wrestle_, let alone _sumo wrestle_.

Therefore poor Jirou walked/staggered out of the club with a couple of new bruises on his body. But that was not the end of it. Just as he walked into the chemistry lab, as he thought that that would be a place Oshitari would go, one of the experiments beside him blew up. The experiment conductor _happened _to be away to retrieve some other material, leaving Jirou alone to be covered in black dust. The blonde growled loudly in distress and stepped away from the chemistry room, wondering _just where in the baJesus' name was that cursed Oshitari Yuushi_.

And then he found Shishido Ryo, leaning on a wall beside the stairs, reading a book calmly.

"SHISHIDO, OMG, MY SAVIOR!" Without hesitation, Jirou clung to Shishido like a hungry cat clinging to its owner. The latter was slightly creeped out and inched away, "Um… Akutagawa?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"… Why are you all wet and black and running around as opposed to sleeping as always?"

Jirou whined like a 5-year-old, "I'm trying to find Oshitari and return his glasses – but I can't frickin' find him and I have encountered billions of misfortune!"

Shishido raised one eyebrow, "Didn't Atobe say he'd take Oshitari's glasses hostage and urge him to appear? Didn't you know that Oshitari wasn't at school today?"

"No, I did not!" The blonde pouted, "So _Atobe_ was the evil guy who put these glasses on me! ARRRGH…"

Shishido swiped the glasses out of Jirou's hand, examined it, and raised his other eyebrow, "What's so special about these glasses anyway?"

"They're _cursed!_ Shishido, didn't you know? It is believed that one who beholds Oshitari's glasses will encounter misfortunes unless he disposes of the glasses or unless Oshitari gets his glasses back!"

"Lame." Shishido scoffed, "Akutagawa, there is no such thing as a curse - "

"And that (BEEP) Atobe Keigo _used_ me to get rid of his own (BEEP) curse - "

" - Besides verbal curses." Shishido added, scowling at the angry and all black Jirou, wondering just how overly hyper Akutagawa Jirou can be when he was awake.

"But Shishido, I'm serious!" Jirou protested, "I mean, why else would Atobe give up on his evil hostage scheme? You know Atobe never gives up on whatever he's doing, right?"

Shishido replied flatly, "Lame. I still don't believe it."

Jirou was about to argue some more before he suddenly realized – _What am I doing? If Shishido does not believe it, I'll just leave the glasses to _him_ and get rid of my _own_ curse! _Snickering at his own brilliance, Jirou put on a smiling face, "Well, then, if you don't believe it – would you be so kind to deliver these glasses to Oshitari for me?"

"What - "

"Thanks, Shishido!" Before he could reply, Jirou bounced up and sprinted out of sight, leaving Shishido Ryo to his forthcoming misfortunes…

Sakaki-sensei approached Jirou right after the latter cleaned up his black face.

"Akutagawa, apparently I have mixed up your test with someone else's," He said, "I looked it over again, and then I realized it wasn't yours at all. You got a 4 on that test, which is not really bad."

"Really?" Jirou blinked in surprise, "So…"

"So there will be no makeup test tomorrow. And you get tennis." Nodding briefly, Sakaki-sensei trotted away again, with a wave of his hand, "You're dismissed."

Jirou was rooted to the ground yet again, pending that information. So he did _not_ fail the test after all… and he gets tennis! And now he'd be able to sleep with no Kabaji disturbing him in his dreams!

He grinned as he proceeded to go back to the cherry tree. After all that trauma, sleep was a necessity. On the way, the random sumo wrestler came to apologize to him, stating that he has mistaken Jirou for someone else. Jirou beamed and told him it was okay. Everything was resolved - furthermore, that free apple which shot out of nowhere was probably still lying under the tree waiting for him…

But Jirou's face tensed again as he thought of the evil glasses. Despite everything getting resolved at the end, it was still a horrible, horrible experience. When he slumped back down under the cherry tree and slowly drifted to sleep, a sentence echoed in his mind,

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Shishido Ryo

(1): Japanese marking scheme, 1-5, 1 being the lowest. Therefore 2 is pretty bad… If that is wrong, please, Japanese experts, correct me.

* * *

**Yue: **Heehee, what did thou think, everyone?  
**Oshitari: **Not torturous enough. Enjoyed my drink though.  
**Yue: **-.- Yeah, I'll make sure to get more torturous later. The next victim will be Shishido Ry -  
**Shishido: **_(drags Yue off the scene, sound of chainsaws and bazookas)_  
**Oshitari: **… Ooookay. I'll call the paramedics later. Review, ahn?


	4. Misfortune 3: Shishido Ryo

**Disclaimer: **I do not, in any way, in any form, in any whatever you can think of, own Prince of Tennis, sadly.

**Yue: **Yay, yay, yay, an update! _(happy dance)_  
**Oshitari: **_(stares with an eyebrow raised)_ Can you do _anything_? You really fail at dancing.  
**Yue: **Gee thanks!  
**Oshitari: **What happened to your arm?  
**Yue: **Oh, yeah, my arm – I think Shishido-san chopped it off with a saw in our last fight.  
**Oshitari: **… And yet you say that so light-heartedly.  
**Yue: **I know – so be merciful, Oshitari-san – would you please buy me a can of Nestea seeing as the poor me have no arm?  
**Oshitari:** … Read on.

* * *

Misfortune 3 – Shishido Ryo

Shishido walked down the hall as he glared at the small, round, shiny, reflective glasses in his hand.

Pfft, a curse. How ridiculous. Shishido never believed in curses. It was especially illogical when this so-called "curse" was bestowed upon a pair of _glasses_. He rolled his eyes as he thought of Jirou, all black and freaked out, waving his arms as if a pair of glasses was the end of the world. "Lame." He scoffed. As if he'd believe him – Jirou slept too much to understand the word "reality" anyway. He needed a serious brain clean-up.

But these eerily flashing glasses left Shishido curious enough. As Atobe did so earlier, he also wondered just _why_Oshitari loved these glasses. But while Atobe thought it was because the glasses had the ability to make one look more beautiful, Shishido had a completely different theory in mind – he believed that, first of all, Oshitari Yuushi was a freak; second of all, these glasses were designed to make Oshitari Yuushi look more nerdy so that fangirls would not disturb him.

Isn't it just too… Shishido to come up with such thoughts?

While Shishido was so entangled in being fascinated by these simple glasses, he did not realize that his cap just got blown away by some unknown source of wind. It was strange too, because there was supposed to be no wind inside a building, let alone the Hyotei Gakuen school building. This school was so well built with full-fledged heating systems that it was even warm _all the time_ in winter.

But one shall not dwell on the _source_ of the wind for long – the same strange wind brought a wig from nowhere, and planted it perfectly on Shishido's head. It was only pathetic that Shishido did not realize _that_ – then again, he was too into the glasses. Worse, the wig seemed to strongly resemble the hair of that very cursed owner of the glasses – Oshitari Yuushi.

So imagine Shishido Ryo's surprise when, all of a sudden, he found a troupe of squealing fangirls in front of him. After all, Shishido never got (and never liked) fangirls – partially because every time a girl expressed interest in him, he'd _glaaaaare_ at her and scare her away. But finally, Shishido managed to convince himself to trust his eyes, because the troupe of fangirls were indeed in front of _him_, as opposed to any other boy in the hall.

"EEEEEE, it's Oshitari-sama!" "_With_ his glasses off! EEEEEE…"

Oshitari-sama? Shishido scowled. "Go away. I'm not Oshitari."

The fangirls ignored him. Instead, more came, for this big group was really attracting lots of attention.

"But you are doubtlessly definitely positively absolutely Oshitari-sama! So, Oshitari-sama, why did you decide to come to school today after all?"

"Bonus, girl! He's not wearing his glasses today and we get to look upon his beautiful eyes!"

"Oshitari-sama, you are the second person next to Atobe-sama who makes my insides jump around like crazed beloved monkeys…"

"Oshitari-sama - "

"I am _not_ Oshitari!" Frustrated, Shishido snapped. He always considered himself _different_ from Oshitari Yuushi the poker face, but he was just about to change his mind. If he did not look perfectly like Oshitari Yuushi the poker face, there would be _no_ way that over 40 fangirls were standing in front of his own very trustworthy eyes, declaring to him that he was an object of affection that triggers their insides to wiggle like monkeys. He fumed – fangirls were one of Shishido's worst nightmares.

The girls looked at each other, baffled, wondering just _why_ their idolized Oshitari Yuushi-sama, who had always flirted along with them, behaved like a different jerk.

But they were fangirls – and, well, don't fangirls tend to always scream over "cool" boys?

"EEEEEE, Oshitari-sama is emitting a different light today!"

"EEEEEE, yeah, a different aura! Like, he's even more mesmerizing than before!"

"Oshitari-sama, you must know how much we all love you!"

"Oshitari-sama, you have to – wait, Oshitari-sama? Don't run!"

_Yeah right, don't run_. Shishido rolled his eyes as he sprinted along the hallway. If he did _not_ run, Shishido predicted that he'd die under a brutal stampede merely moments later. Those girls looked… hungry enough.

Shishido looked back – they were not about to give up. All the girls, cued by the leader who came up with the famous phrase involving crazed monkeys, sped after Shishido as if hunting for prey. He cursed and turned his full attention back to the front view, praying that he'd get to somewhere around Atobe soon to take the heat off of himself.

While he ran away from the insanity, behind a wall where the fangirls _used to _stand, a masked eerie figure peeked out and shook his head.

* * *

But Shishido Ryo _did_ get around Atobe Keigo.

It was just that… Atobe's usual charms didn't seem to stand a chance against a supposed "really cool Oshitari Yuushi without glasses on". Rather than swarming towards the primary object that made their insides wiggle like monkeys, their attentions were solely fixed on "Oshitari". They were squealing as Shishido came to a halt, who apparently thought he was saved. Of course, that was not the case. The fangirls completely _ignored_ Atobe Keigo and even pushed him aside. All they had in mind was "how beautiful and mesmerizing Oshitari-sama's eyes are". As much as it shocked Shishido, it stung Atobe. Atobe glared at Shishido for minutes, waiting for the fangirls to switch attention, but they did not. Finally, he could bear no longer as he let out an indignant growl, "Get away from this place, you imbeciles – Ore-sama orders so!"

The fangirls cringed, finally noticing Atobe's presence. Sheepishly, they retreated, but whispers could still be heard, "But they both look so attractive – Oshitari-sama more than Atobe-sama, surprisingly!"

Atobe gritted his teeth and shook in indignity as the girls marched away in troupes. At last, he turned mechanically to Shishido, "Now, Oshitari, you owe me an explanation."

"I'm _not_ Oshitari!" Shishido rolled his eyes and protest, "I don't know how the _hell_ those girls thought I was Oshitari, damn it!"

Atobe raised one eyebrow, "It's not working, Oshitari. In fact, Ore-sama is quite surprised that you are wandering around without glasses, that you are trying to escape Ore-sama using the lamest excuse ever, and that you just came to a near-swearing situation. Plus, Ore-sama has yet to assign you 300 push-ups, for you were the one who forgot to turn off the faucet - "

"But I'm _not_ Oshitari Yuushi, damn it!" Shishido exclaimed and pointed at his face, "Hello? Do I _look_ like Oshitari to you?"

Atobe raised his other eyebrow and inspected for another full minute before finally cracking out, "Shishido?"

"Uh, _yeah_!"

"Really, now, Ore-sama is quite caught off guard." Atobe's eyebrows could hardly be seen, for they were so high up his forehead that his "swooping" hairstyle completely covered them. "So, Shishido, tell me now, why are you trying to dress like Oshitari? Are you sad that your popularity does not seem to be as high as Oshitari's?"

"Hell no!" Shishido raged, "How am I trying to dress like Oshitari?"

"The fact that you're holding his glasses?" Atobe smirked. As he has experienced the curse _himself_, he was now nearly fully aware of the situation, and was sympathizing with Shishido – well, maybe a little. Atobe meant to drop this as a hint – after all, he would _not_ tell Shishido Ryo of this curse in a straight-forward manner, for the same Shishido Ryo had just _beaten Atobe-sama in popularity_. But Shishido did not seem to get it. "What the hell? Just because I'm holding his glasses? Hello? Oshitari has _long_ hair?"

Atobe did nothing but smirk at Shishido's wig.

"Well, whatever." Shishido scoffed again, "Lame. But thanks for chasing off those pests though."

As Shishido strode away, Atobe smirked to Kabaji, "After all, if he knows not of the curse, there is no need for Ore-sama to tell him, right Kabaji?"

"Usu." Kabaji nodded in agreement.

* * *

Shishido panted for that heavenly air as he ran from yet another troupe of fangirls. Despite falling into a magical puddle of mud coming out of nowhere, getting his clothes all dirty, stepping indignantly onto a string of banana peels, landing on his face, _and_ somehow managing a mouth-to-mouth landing with a random fangirl, he still couldn't get that cursed popularity off of him. But all Shishido was trying to do, again, was to get to the boys' bathroom and see just _how much_ he looked like Oshitari Yuushi.

As he ran, Jirou's words suddenly rang clear,_ "They're _cursed!_ Shishido, didn't you know?" "And that (BEEP) Atobe Keigo used me to get rid of his own (BEEP) curse -"_

Finally, Shishido acknowledged the presence of the curse with a growl, "This (BEEP) curse and that (BEEP) Atobe Keigo!"

Acknowledged the presence of _both_ types of curse – verbally and glasses-ly, that is.

He frantically ran along, wondering how far he was from the closest bathroom. Suddenly, he spotted a familiar figure on the side – Ootori Chotarou.

"Chotarou, catch!" He yelled for Ootori and tossed the glasses. "Huh?" The latter turned to his senpai, baffled, catching the glasses dubiously. Just then, another strange wind blew. It was very strong. The fangirls screeched and covered their eyes. The wig on Shishido's head was blown away, and then replaced by his very own dear blue cap.

As the wind cleared, the fangirls looked around, "Where's Oshitari-sama?"

"He must've run off when we weren't looking…"

"Yeah…"

Shishido watched in relief as the girls retreated, mumbling to themselves the whereabouts of their beloved "Oshitari-sama". That is, until Ootori tapped his shoulder, "Shishido-san, what happened? You look filthy."

The guy reacted with a jump, "Get, those, damned, glasses, away, from, me, NOW!"

Ootori winced at that violent reaction, but nonetheless was baffled, "Why, what's wrong with these glasses?"

Shishido backed in fear, "Just… just… ARGH!" Finally, he ran and ran, from the source of his… well, misfortunes, at the same time wishing Ootori good luck.

* * *

Shishido Ryo finally seemed to be back to 100 percent as he cleaned up some of the mud on his shirt. He decided to go back to the stairs and read calmly. He felt a pang of guilt as he thought of poor Chotarou, who was probably now experiencing misfortunes because of him. But then again, it was always a relief to be away from your _own_ misfortunes. His relief overshadowed his guilt, and he began to wonder just _why_ so many people mistook him for Oshitari.

Maybe he did look like Oshitari a lot.

As he thought of this, he saw a blue wig on a nearby tree branch. And then he realized – it must've been that wig. It was not hard to connect the dots. After all, even if the first wind didn't gain his attention, the second one did.

"Lame." Shishido scoffed at that wig and spun around to make his way to his locker. He needed to go get his book.

As he slowly made his way, he shuddered again at his horrible experiences. A phrase rang clearly in his mind like a bell,

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Ootori Chotarou

* * *

**Yue: **XDXD Gotta love the fangirls.  
**Oshitari: **True enough. Suits Shishido very well.  
**Yue: **I know XDXD! And now our next victim will be Shishido-san's doubles partner – Ootori Chotarou! Hey, there's Shishido-san. Hello! Enjoyed your… encounters?  
**Shishido: **_(drags Yue off the scene, sound of chainsaws and bazookas, and Yue's screech)  
_**Yue:**_(distant, distant voice) _Yudan sezuni ikou – especially when dealing with a Hyotei regular by the name of Shish - _(another screech)  
_**Atobe: **Ore-sama will go join. _(brings over a chainsaw)_ After all, how could Ore-sama possibly have lost to _Shishido_ on popularity?  
_(VERY loud screech)_  
**Oshitari: **… Do I always have to be the one to call the paramedics? Anyway. Review, ahn? And I shall go watch that fight.


	5. Misfortune 4: Ootori Chotarou

**Disclaimer: **I do not, in any way, in any form, in any whatever you can think of, own Prince of Tennis, sadly.

**Oshitari: **We are gathered here for the funeral of Fanfiction writer Tsukiyume-Yue…  
**Spirit of Yue: **WTH? I'm alive, hello?  
**Oshitari: **... who was murdered by Shishido Ryo and Atobe Keigo… Please all bow…  
**Spirit of Yue: **Can't you hear me?  
**Oshitari: **First bow…  
**Spirit of Yue: **I'm alive, for Christ's sake!  
**Oshitari:** … Won't you stop it? Your wind-gusting voice is annoying us. Let's just continue with the story.  
**Spirit of Yue: **So you _can_ hear me! Yay! (reverts to **Yue**)  
**Shishido: **… HOW THE HELL DID YOU REVIVE?  
**Yue: **Let's just continue with the story!

* * *

Misfortune 4 – Ootori Chotarou

"Shishido-san sure is strange today." Ootori mumbled as he watched Shishido's back gradually fade away. He raised an eyebrow as he stared into the small, round, shiny, reflexive glasses. "So these are Oshitari-san's glasses?" He uttered to himself, sighing as his mind briefly scanned through the main reason of his inability to play tennis on this very fine day. He was so looking forward to it – the tennis! Especially when it was right after the irritating math class. But no, there was just no tennis today, all thanks to the owner of these small, round, shiny, reflexive glasses!

Ootori sighed again. Ootori must not blame Oshitari because Ootori was too nice. It wasn't Oshitari's fault if Oshitari was being stupid and careless. It wasn't Oshitari's fault if Oshitari had short term memory to the extent of forgetting to turn off a faucet. It wasn't Oshitari's fault…

Aww, forget it. It _was definitely_ Oshitari's fault. Even Ootori couldn't deny that.

The boy sighed once again as he walked past a masked eerie figure whom, unbeknownst to him, was someone of great significance. Shishido-san has handed him a task. He must finish this task first – return Oshitari's glasses – before turning his attention to some random masked eerie figure.

All of a sudden, a running shoe flew out of nowhere and landed itself beautifully on Ootori's head. Unbeknownst to Ootori, the curse, of course, was starting to work up. He got rid of the running shoe with a raised eyebrow, then serenely continued to search for Oshitari. Again he did not know that the running shoe was of great importance – that is, it was in fact Sakaki-sensei's 5-million-yen pair of running shoes (one of them anyway). Real gold was all over the edges of the shoe, but Ootori did not notice, all thanks to the ever so evil curse. On top of that, the running shoe, seeing as it had gold on it, gave quite a blow to Ootori's head that he became dizzy.

And accompanying the dizziness was – a complete change of personality.

So you'll have to excuse… let's say… Jirou for thinking that he saw an alien. The story was as the following:

"Hey, Ootori!" Jirou waved hyperactively at Ootori, a big, big grin on the face, "Wanna go get something to eat? I just woke up and I'm kinda bored and hungry."

"Go get it yourself."

"Ha?" Jirou paused his stride in mid-air, blinking at Ootori's face in bewilderment. It took him a while to notice that Ootori was giving off a more than demonic aura. His eyes were emitting a green light. His eyebrows were scrunched up. He looked like he just swallowed five thousand rubber ducks mixed with some Inui special juice.

"I said," the Dark Ootori reiterated, "Go get it yourself. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean other people are, you **scum**."

Jirou took a giant step back and rubbed his finger in his ear as he prudently continued to question, refusing to believe his own ears, "Um, you _are_ Ootori, right? And you're saying words such as _scum_ and refusing to eat with me? C'mon, Ootori, stop playing around and come get some food with me."

That was, of course, a dumb move. It caused Ootori's eyes to turn greener and more savage-like. Two Godzilla beams shot out from his obscure irises and pierced directly into Jirou's poor, poor heart.

"I _said_," spat the Dark Ootori, "just because you're hungry doesn't mean other people are. Do you want me to repeat that again, you **scumbag**?"

Ah, so now "scum" has escalated into "scumbag". Naturally, Jirou paid absolutely zero attention to that. His brain cells were fixated on accepting the fact that Ootori's eyes turned green and that he just spoke the word "scum". He was rooted to the ground for a good five minutes, attempting to digest such cruel fact, until Dark Ootori's voice warned him yet again,

"Well, are you gonna get outta my face, **scallywag**?"

Scum, scumbag, and scallywag, all in a matter of five minutes! It was then that Jirou decided to be smart; it was really the time to run.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Atobe, Ootori had gone _crazy_!"

Jirou, for the God-knows-how-many-th time this day, waved his arm hysterically and babbled in indignity at his listeners, who were none other than Atobe and Kabaji. Atobe's reaction to that simply unbelievable phrase was, of course, a royal snort coming from his royal highness. "Don't be ridiculous, Jirou. Ootori would never say the word 'scumbag' even if the sky falls off and crushes him into extracellular fluid – let alone three rude words in five minutes."

"Are you questioning my sanity, Atobe?"

"Your sanity must be questioned after an encounter with _the_ glasses."

"Oh yeah? And what about _you_? You should question your _own_ sanity above everyone else! You were the first one to get those glasses!"

"Ore-sama's sanity should never be in question. Do not insult Ore-sama, Jirou."

"But I'm telling you, Ootori had gone _crazy_!"

"Ootori would never go crazy. Even if he does, his concept of 'crazy' is not supposed to be stretched to such an extent as uttering a swear word. Question your sanity, Jirou. Face the wall and muse for some time. Then you'll clear your head of this folly."

Jirou stuck out his tongue at Atobe and turned to the closest window and sulked. That barely lasted five seconds before he jumped and pointed an ever-so-sharp index finger at the field outside, "So if I'm crazy, Atobe, _you_ explain this to me!"

Atobe rolled his royal eyes at Jirou as he flicked his royal hair with his royal index finger and proceeded royally towards the window. Such a royal walk was so full of royal self confidence, for Atobe knows that his royal highness never fails.

Or so he thought.

So there was Sakaki-sensei, holding his golden running shoe, and literally _attempting_ to explain, to none other than Ootori, that the newly-discovered dent in his shoe fits perfectly with Ootori's head. It was totally futile, as Ootori was not listening and humming such random lyrics as "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me". Atobe scratched his ear slightly and tried to maintain the ever-so-cool-his-royal-highness demeanor, but simply could not go on as Ootori held out a finger at his coach.

Oh, wait a sec, not just _a_ finger, _the_ finger.

For a split second, Atobe thought it was the end of the world. Heck, Ootori held out _the_ finger! There has gotta be _something_ wrong with this universe if _that_ were to happen! It was equivalent to the sky collapsing, or dinosaurs being resurrected and eating humans, or, worst of all, it was equivalent to Atobe changing into a bathrobe and hula dancing in front of the entire school! Honestly, even _that_ cannot match the bizarreness of Ootori holding out _the_ finger.

At that time, Atobe has decided that he _will_ change into a bathrobe and hula dance in front of the entire school. It was obvious that the world is already screwed up and ready to end, and he might as well try that before the world destructs –

Ah, but wait a sec, what's that round, tiny, shiny, and reflective thing in Ootori's hand?

Atobe squinted at that horrific structure, and all of a sudden it made sense.

Phew! He almost made the stupidest decision ever.

A knowing smirk flowed onto his face as he turned to Jirou, now exactly resembling the painting "Scream", a phenomenon that has already occurred multiple times in this one bizarre afternoon.

"Jirou, Ore-sama was totally right. Ootori would never utter the word 'scum'."

"Atobe, you are totally brain dead! Can't you _see_ what's going on?"

"But a _cursed_ Ootori would obvious commit such a sin as cursing."

"Huh?" Jirou blinked in confusion and then at Ootori, before jumping knowingly, "OH! The glasses!"

Atobe could laugh at his own brilliance. Of course it was the glasses. What else could it possibly have been? Although he really _did_ wonder how the glasses ended up in Ootori's hands. Besides, as crazy as this sounds, he sympathized with Ootori. Ootori was one of the few team members that he did _not_ want disasters to descend upon. For this reason, he instructed Kabaji to grab hold of those glasses – a move that, unbeknownst to him, would eventually become another one of his biggest mistakes.

So let's switch scenes.

"Ootori Chotarou, I say this again. Will you pay for my gold running shoe?" Sakaki-sensei, his patience reaching his limit, reiterated with a pair of eyes icier than ever.

The Dark Ootori snorted, "Get outta my face, you **runt**, before I decide to hurt you."

And that was the first thing Shishido Ryou heard when he attempted to speak with Ootori. Of course his jaw dropped in inelegance as everyone else. He did _not_ expect that pair of glasses to do _this_. Instantly he rushed up to his doubles partner and warned, "Yo, Chotarou, snap out of it."

The Dark Ootori squinted at his face with dislike, "What, you wanna go against me too, **scum**?"

"Drop those glasses," Shishido warned, "Drop those glasses and everything would be fine."

"You commanding me, **scum**?"

"I _am_ commanding you. Hear me? Drop those glasses, now."

The Dark Ootori's eyes became bloodshot with anger (or curse, whichever way you decide to look at it), "Nobody commands me. Get outta my face, _now_!"

Accompanying that was a fist that flew right at Shishido's face. The latter took a step back, only to find Ootori being completely lifted off of the ground by none other than Kabaji.

For the first time in Shishido's life, Kabaji seemed like the greatest saint there is.

Kabaji ignored a struggling Dark Ootori and forcefully snatched the glasses out of his hands. Suddenly, the struggle stopped, and Ootori's red eyes blinked for numerous times before turning back to what it originally looked like.

"Huh…?" The poor victim stuttered, clueless, "What happened?"

Kabaji put the poor boy back onto the ground. Sakaki-sensei glared at him and snorted, "Back to normal, I see. So _now _will you pay for my gold running shoe?"

"Running shoe?" Ootori blinked in confusion, before exclaiming knowingly, "Oh, that shoe that fell on top of my head! Did I damage it?"

Sakaki-sensei held out the shoe, where a giant dent that fit Ootori's head resided.

"Oh," Ootori twitched and bowed numerous times, an apologetic blush on his face, "I am terribly sorry, Sakaki-sensei; I will pay for it immediately."

Shishido protested on the side, "Sensei, do not blame Chotarou. There is a _reason_ that this whole running shoe ordeal happened, you see - "

The teacher interrupted him by raising his eyebrows and uttering something Shishido would never _dream_ that he would say…

"The glasses?"

"Huh?" Shishido's jaw dropped, _staaaaaaaring_ at him in disbelief.

Sakaki-sensei winked at him before turning and waving dismissively with a sigh, "Count it as bad luck, Ootori. You don't have to pay for me."

* * *

"So _that's_ what happened!"

Ootori exclaimed in disbelief, reddening completely in embarrassment, "My, my, those are some evil glasses!"

"I know," Shishido scoffed, "Lame."

"So where are the glasses now?" Ootori questioned as he looked around, "I don't see it anywhere."

"Kabaji took them."

Then, as if something just hit them, they twitched and stared at each other, and then at the front, where Kabaji apparently disappeared off to.

"…Uh-oh."

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Kabaji Munehiro

* * *

**Yue: **Haha, sorry about the long delay in an update XD. I must have annoyed you. This time it was not on purpose. I'm busy with school and summer school and volunteering and all that jazz. So do excuse me.  
**Oshitari: **Here goes her excuses.  
**Yue: **Say nothing or I'll sever your medulla oblongata.  
**Oshitari: **…Just to let you know, "medulla oblongata" is her new obsessed human anatomy part. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you review.


	6. Misfortune 5: Kabaji Munehiro

**Disclaimer: **I do not, in any way, in any form, in any whatever you can think of, own Prince of Tennis, sadly.

**Yue: **Sorry if I seemed like I had died -.-…  
**Oshitari: **Aye, since it actually has been about a year since you last updated this.  
**Yue: **(GRIN) So let's continue with where we left off!  
**Oshitari: **Sigh…

* * *

Misfortune 5 – Kabaji Munehiro

Kabaji Munehiro walked towards his "boss" Atobe Keigo in hopes of fulfilling his duty – to bring Oshitari Yuushi's glasses back to Atobe. Being the simple-minded Kabaji, however, he had _no_ idea how much he had misinterpreted his boss's actual wishes. Atobe would rather die than to be in possession once again of Oshitari Yuushi's small, round, shiny, and reflective glasses, since they were more cursed than all the combined powers of the world's possible curses. But Kabaji had no way of knowing – because he was _Kabaji_. Kabaji was Atobe's slave. Kabaji had no need to think, because Atobe did that for him. Kabaji did not have an independent brain of his own. Atobe told Kabaji to rid Ootori of the cursed glasses, Kabaji did it. End of story. So whenever Atobe made a mistake such as the one we just mentioned, Kabaji was directly affected.

In this case, poor Kabaji was now the one being acted upon by the curse. The sad fact was that Kabaji was completely unaware.

That's right, he was _completely _unaware – for the minute he held the rim of the glasses, he lost all his senses of mind, if he ever had any in the first place. He became simultaneously deaf and mute, and all parts of his brain lost their functions except for the medulla oblongata and the pons, which kind of needed to keep operating in order for Kabaji to stay alive. He has forgotten _all_ about the existence of Atobe Keigo, and all his other tennis teammates, for that matter; he merely began wandering around the school like a lost child who knew not how to ask for help.

A masked eerie figured followed him. They became the Two Mismatched Wandering Apparitions of Hyotei – at least for the moment.

* * *

"Jirou, what could be taking Kabaji so long?" Atobe glanced at his royal watch, annoyed. Jirou, who had begun to fall asleep due to the receding of the thrill of seeing a Dark Ootori, was rudely waken up once more, "How am I supposed to know? Did you send him off to restore Ootori?"

Atobe tossed his head royally, "Ore-sama certainly did, but Ore-sama did not expect him to be so tardy in his movements. Normally, he would have been long by my side by now. According to Ore-sama's calculations, with Kabaji's speed, it shall take him about 54 seconds to get to the field, and exactly 4 seconds to snatch the glasses off of - "

Suddenly he paused and looked at Jirou with what appeared to be utter horror in his eyes.

"Jirou, can it be that - "

Jirou, comprehending it perfectly, looked again exactly like the famous "Scream" painting. "We must find Kabaji – immediately, Atobe! Terrible things will happen to Kabaji if we don't!"

"Ore-sama knows that." Atobe snorted and responded before speeding off to an obscure direction, in commencement of his search of Kabaji.

Atobe found Kabaji sitting under his own favourite willow tree (which earlier caused him much trouble) staring into the thin air as if it were the seventh wonder of the world, holding _the_ glasses in his hand. To Atobe's relief, Kabaji did not seem to have been hurt or plagued by bad luck; there was no mud, no rotten eggs, no banana peels, nothing. Thinking that perhaps the curse did not work on Kabaji, Atobe smirked and said to himself that Oshitari's glasses had flaws after all. He then proceeded to say to Kabaji, "Oi, Kabaji, stand up."

Kabaji did not seem to hear him and remained where he was, admiring the beauty of the thin air.

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

"Kabaji, stand up."

After repeating that phrase some more, Atobe realized with horror that Kabaji seemed to have become deaf, for Kabaji still remained where he was, staring at the thin air like it was more beautiful than Atobe Keigo's face. Atobe then proceeded to try some other orders, which included "Kabaji, look at Ore-sama", "Kabaji, say 'usu'", "Kabaji, wiggle", "Kabaji, move a muscle on your face", and at last "For crying out loud, Kabaji, _breath_". It did not take long before Atobe realized with more horror that he could _no longer command Kabaji_. He then tried to simply gain Kabaji's attention by poking him, pulling on his hair, pulling on his face, and kicking him in the behind. All failed. He could not even get Kabaji to realize his master's presence by standing right before him and saying, with much narcissism, "Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na". It was with terror that Atobe finalized his inspections by concluding that Kabaji no longer possessed any senses. This made Atobe loathe Oshitari's glasses more than anything. He would gladly have punched the tensai in the face if he were able to find him; but knowing that Oshitari Yuushi was apparently not at school on that day, Atobe decided to go to others for help. He knew that ridding Kabaji of the glasses was the only way to return him to normal, and he'd rather die than do it himself. Tossing one last eyebrow-raised glance at his slave, Atobe turned and began to run around to find acquaintances.

When Atobe returned with a clueless Hiyoshi, he found that Kabaji was no longer there. Seeing as Oshitari's glasses were not in sight, Atobe concluded that the glasses had instructed Kabaji to wander off elsewhere. Then he perceived some footprints on the ground, and, as they very much resembled the footprints of a tyrannosaurus rex, Atobe concluded with much certainty that the footprints were those of Kabaji's. He began following the tracks when Hiyoshi also began bubbling with questions,

"Atobe-senpai, may I ask about the true nature of your random business? Do you not have Kabaji to tend to your businesses for you? I was about to go to a street tennis court and practice so I could gekokujyou you some day, and you're erasing that dream each minute."

Atobe replied impatiently while he continued to follow the tracks of the T. rex, "You can attempt to gekokujyou Ore-sama anytime you want without ever succeeding. If you have not yet noticed, Ore-sama is attempting to find Kabaji."

"…Gekokujyou, by following the tracks of a dinosaur?"

"Why yes, of course."

"I always knew that Kabaji was inhuman. But I must confess I'm a bit surprised that Kabaji is actually a "humannosaurus". Gekokujyou."

"No, Hiyoshi, there is no such thing as a 'humannosaurus'. You must realize that Kabaji is cursed, and anything could happen to him."

"You mean the curse of Oshitari-senpai's glasses?"

"Indeed."

"Gekokujyou. I do not believe in curses."

"All the better. When we find Kabaji, you can take the glasses out of his hands." Atobe became increasingly impatient, that is, until he finally spotted Kabaji in the middle of the field. If only that was it.

Kabaji was no longer staring at the air like it was an exquisite display. He was _talking_. Not just talking. He was babbling. Rambling. Blathering. Saying more than a normal Kabaji would usually say. He saluted every person who passed him, telling that person that his name was Kabaji Munehiro, that he woke up at six o'clock every morning and then brushed his teeth and then washed his face and then ate his breakfast and then walked out of his house and then walked to Hyotei Gakuen and then went to tennis practice and then… the list goes on. This caused everyone on the field to evade Kabaji and therefore gossip about Atobe and question his abilities as a slave owner. Atobe slapped his forehead and mentally wished that Oshitari Yuushi could just go to hell with his glasses, while Hiyoshi's jaw dropped in utter inelegance.

As if that was not bad enough, Kabaji suddenly began a flirting fit with XX chromosomal human beings. He completely ignored the fact that the girls were wincing in terror upon seeing him. He only _smiiiiiiiiled_ (a smile that resembled that of a baboon) and told them that they made his intestines wiggle like crazed monkeys. As the girls screamed he _drooled_. It was totally _not_ a pretty sight. Hiyoshi's jaw dropped further, putting the poor jaw under such a strain that it could dislocate. Atobe grunted in frustration as he rushed in front of Kabaji and yelled stop.

Unfortunately, while Kabaji seemed to be aware of everyone else on the field, he completely ignored the existence of Atobe Keigo. He seemed to have gained X-ray vision, for he could only perceive the girls shuddering _behind_ Atobe, and proceeded to move forward without evading Atobe. Despite Atobe running out of the way as quickly as he could, his impeccably clean shirt became covered by Kabaji's saliva.

"Ew!" Atobe screamed, and then he realized that it was the first time he had ever said the word "ew" in his entire 14 years of human life. He proceeded to scream more, appalled by the idea that Ore-sama had used such a low, _childish_ word when Ore-sama had thousands to choose from. The girls whispered dubiously, before coming to the conclusion that Atobe-sama only made their insides wiggle more by showing them his soft side. Atobe, however, did not have the leisurely time to pay attention to his fangirls, as he merely hoarsely instructed Hiyoshi to take the "damned" glasses out of Kabaji's hands.

Though Hiyoshi has witnessed Kabaji's odd behaviour, he did not attribute it to the glasses. He merely thought that Kabaji's hormones had finally begun to show traces. But Hiyoshi knew better than defying an angry Atobe, so Hiyoshi obeyed. As he snatched the glasses out of Kabaji's hands, he mumbled "Gekokujyou" and scowled dubiously at the glasses, looking exactly like normal glasses to him. "I'm going to return this to Oshitari-senpai, gekokujyou," he shrugged nonchalantly and began to walk off.

Atobe knew better than to stop him. He merely said "Good luck" and turned his attention back to Kabaji, who had by now restored his blank expressions.

"Kabaji?"

Kabaji nodded.

"Kabaji, say 'usu'."

"Usu."

"Kabaji, wiggle."

Kabaji wiggled, causing the girls behind Atobe to squirm in disturbance.

"Good." Atobe smirked as he saw that his slave had completely returned to normal. "Now get something to clean all your saliva off of Ore-sama's beautiful shirt."

Kabaji nodded and walked off, and Atobe turned to his fangirls, his usual popularity beginning to shine, even though the girls were somewhat repelled by the smell of Kabaji's saliva.

As Kabaji walked impassively towards the boys' washroom for some paper towel, a sentence suddenly echoed in his empty mind,

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Hiyoshi Wakashi

* * *

**Oshitari: **Hiyoshi, huh? That shall be interesting. I shall watch. Meanwhile you shall review.


	7. Misfortune 6: Hiyoshi Wakashi

**Disclaimer**: I own neither PoT nor the cover image.

**Yue**: You may curse me or kill me or shoot me with a bazooka for not updating for so long; it's very difficult to write for a fandom you've fallen out of. Nevertheless, I strive to finish this that I've started, for this was indeed amusing to write from the get-go, and it would be a pity if it was left dangling. This is pure insanity and altogether possibly just doesn't make sense. But I hope nonsense will brighten your days somewhat.

* * *

Misfortune 6 – Hiyoshi Wakashi

Hiyoshi cast one last look at the distraught Atobe and the abnormal Kabaji before shrugging and walking off. As he marched along a path he squinted suspiciously at the small, round, shiny, reflective glasses in his hand.

He shook his head. It was impossible to be _cursed_ by a pair of glasses. It was especially impossible to be cursed by his senpai's glasses. Hiyoshi refused to acknowledge that Oshitari Yuushi had enough power to make his own _glasses_ cursed. This was because Hiyoshi wanted to gekokujyou Oshitari someday, as he wished to gekokujyou Atobe, Shishido, Jirou, and all his other senpai-tachi. Since he wished to gekokujyou them, he should probably start by pumping himself with confidence and firmly believing that his senpai-tachi were not that powerful after all. So Hiyoshi would sooner give up on the idea of gekokujyou than to admit that Oshitari Yuushi was powerfully creepy.

Nevertheless, after being told of poor Mukahi Gakuto's unfortunate story on the first day he entered Hyotei Gakuen, the image of the glasses had left a small worry in Hiyoshi's weak, weak heart (cue melodramatic music). As he walked along the path, his heart beat more, but when he noticed that nothing unusual was really happening to him, an inner Hiyoshi laughed.

_This is a sign that I could so totally gekokujyou Oshitari-senpai one day._

Hiyoshi did not know that the glasses, after cursing five people in the last forty minutes, merely needed some time to recuperate. He did not know that the glasses could feel tired or that glasses had minds of their own, for that matter. But _the_ glasses were as sly as their owner Oshitari Yuushi. They were about to begin the curse in a unique way.

Hiyoshi walked along his path, gleaming with false confidence, when suddenly a crow flew past him with a usual croak (wait, maybe that's used only for frogs… but it doesn't matter, for it fits quite well with crows) that sounded very much like "ahou", just like any other crow in any manga sounds like. While phenomena of this kind usually failed to catch Hiyoshi's attention, _this time_ it did. Not only that, it vexed him quite a lot. As he looked towards the head of the crow he seemed to have seen Oshitari Yuushi's face. It gave him the false illusion that the glasses had begun to plot against him.

Well, the glasses _were_ plotting against him. Just not so obviously.

With much eagerness Hiyoshi shooed the crow away and delighted in being able to successfully gekokujyou the crow. And then he thought that to gekokujyou a crow made no sense, as he was much larger and more able-bodied, not to mention more intelligent (though sometimes this could be questioned), than the crow. But he suddenly realized that the crow was higher up in the sky than he was, so it did make sense to gekokujyou it after all. On top of that, the crow seemed to remind him of Oshitari-senpai's face, courtesy of the curse of the glasses.

After firmly believing that he still possessed to ability to gekokujyou people _and_ other things for that matter, Hiyoshi continued along his path. His confidence has diminished for a bit, but there was still a gleam nonetheless. For some reason, his path led him to a row of trees. A row of trees would be perfectly harmless had the glasses not been in Hiyoshi's hands. The trees were not injuring Hiyoshi physically, even though branches stuck out here and there along the path. No; however, Hiyoshi had apparently developed dendrophobia – a fear of trees – on the spot.

Hiyoshi looked at the trees and gulped. The spaces between the leaves seemed to have become little dark eyes, twinkling maliciously at him, each eye belonging to some sort of satanic creature ready to tear him into pieces. A perfectly normal breeze suddenly began to feel like powerful gushes of cold wind.

No, not merely feel like. It _became_ powerful gushes of cold wind. Hiyoshi shivered. He was wearing his team uniform with shorts (even though there were no practices), and he was freezing. Suddenly, there was a flash of lightening in the sky. Hiyoshi gulped and looked up. Since he-didn't-know-when, the clouds had turned completely dark. It seemed as if a tornado was coming from a distance. Hiyoshi gulped some more and turned his eyes back to the path before him, and nearly fell.

The trees multiplied. There were now _many_ trees.

There were so many trees that it narrowed the usually wide path in the rich Hyotei Gakuen. What's more, there seemed to be a triangular effect. As Hiyoshi walked on, the path got narrower and darker.

Then the shadows of the trees began to move.

Hiyoshi gasped as he saw arms suddenly grow out of the shadows, and on these arms there were those little eyes which he had perceived earlier. The arms reached for Hiyoshi's foot, then his legs. Hiyoshi was so paralyzed he could barely move.

But for some reason, he was still walking. Mechanically, however. It was like he couldn't control his own legs. The shadows were going to take him, he knew. The shadows were going to take him into the narrower and narrower path, then reach up to his neck, and suffocate him with darkness. The darkness was going to kill him

Hiyoshi wouldn't be afraid though. Because Hiyoshi was Hiyoshi. Hiyoshi was never afraid of anything, because he can gekokujyou everybody that came his way.

Hiyoshi's hands clutched tighter on the glasses, nearly crushing them as he walked on. The trees continued to close in, and, after looking back several times and deciding that, despite his marvelous gekokujyou abilities, it was still a wise time to retreat, Hiyoshi tried to back away.

But he could not, for whatever strange reason! His feet felt as if they were glued to the floor. In horror Hiyoshi looked down, and saw that the hands of shadow were gripping firmly onto his heels, refusing to let go of his sneakers. Hiyoshi repressed an urge to scream and struggled, thinking that shadows had no physical form and that it must be easy to gekokujyou shadow. But no matter how much he moved, he could not budge.

Fear and more mental anxiety began to stir within Hiyoshi. He wanted to use all the moves he had practiced in his dojo last week to escape. He wanted to gekokujyou the shadow, but his attempts were fruitless.

After wasting lots of energy, Hiyoshi finally decided, amidst his fear, that it was illogical to gekokujyou the shadow. After all, gekokujyou meant to overthrow someone from the bottom. As he was on top of the shadows, there was no way he could gekokujyou them. So he would obey them and keep walking instead, until they loom _over_ him. _Then_ he could gekokujyou the dark shadows.

With conviction he took some more steps forward, but barely had he proceeded for ten seconds before more trouble came his way.

The trees had gotten so narrow that it was the end of the path. What's more, Hiyoshi had been walking too fast to realize.

Yes, you guessed it. Hiyoshi was _stuck_ between two trees. _Tightly_. He could barely move.

Hiyoshi knew in his heart that it was illogical. No matter how quickly he had been walking, there was no way he was walking quickly enough for him to be lodged so firmly between the thin gap in the two trees. His leg simply had too much inertia for him to attain that velocity. And the trees could not have accelerated at such a rate as to trap him within seconds. In fact, trees could not have accelerated at all. It wasn't as if they had legs or anything.

But illogical and physics-defying as it was, Hiyoshi was still stuck between the trees. He twisted and turned in every possible way to get out, but neither the tree nor himself would budge. At last Hiyoshi was exhausted and paused, and looked up into the sky. The branches of the tree stretched toward the clouds, which were dark and ominous.

Hiyoshi thought in ill humour that it would be great if he could gekokujyou the trees. But there was no way –

Wait a minute. Gekokujyou the tree. _That's it!_ He could still somehow slide up the gaps between the tree. He would climb over the tree and find a way down. This was how _true_ gekokujyou worked.

Excited, Hiyoshi got right to it. He hugged the tree on the left and wiggled his way up; though it was difficult at first, he managed to inch up bit by bit, and the gap between the trees widened as he moved up. Hiyoshi was ready to laugh at the world. Nothing in the world could stop him from all his brilliances of gekokujyou-ing the universe.

But the glasses had more magic than that. As Hiyoshi climbed up and reached a first major branch, he heaved a sigh of relief and turned to the right. He nearly jumped out of his skin upon perceiving a masked eerie figure standing atop the branch on the right tree, right opposite him.

"W-Who are you?" Hiyoshi asked, and despite his exceptional self control and all his years of training, his voice was trembling.

The masked eerie figure did not answer.

"Who are you? If you don't answer, I shall… I shall gekokujyou you and report you to Sakaki-sensei!" Hiyoshi threatened with the most menacing words he could think of.

"Be patient." The masked eerie figure replied. His voice was hoarse and snaky. "I will reveal my true form once the sun rises."

As Hiyoshi's common sense had already all gone into nothingness by now, he actually listened and waited. The two figures stood facing each other in silence. Heroic music played in Hiyoshi's head, as he felt as if he was on some sort of grand stand-off with an all-time villain.

Suddenly the glasses in Hiyoshi's hands shone an eerie, reflective light, and the darkness in the sky began to lift. Hiyoshi raised his head in surprise. The sun was peeping from behind the thick clouds now, and rays began to spill onto the two standing figures.

Just as Hiyoshi was about to demand heroically at the stranger, the masked eerie figure suddenly lifted his mask, and a pale, ghastly, inhuman face appeared underneath it as he ripped his cape off of his figure. His entire body began to sparkle in the sunlight, as he smirked and declared with a flick of his short hair, with a voice that could outweigh Atobe in haughtiness,

"**BEHOLD, HIYOSHI WAKASHI, I AM EDWARD CULLEN!**"

_Edward Cullen? _

Terror suddenly seized Hiyoshi, as he screamed a very girly screech and tumbled back. This, of course, resulted in disaster; he fell down the branch, and landed flatly on his face. But Hiyoshi could not care about his face any more. He merely scrambled to his feet and ran with all his soul out of the shady path, taking no heed whatsoever that there were no longer shadows to stop him. He ran with his eyes closed, like any coward would, forgetting all about his glories of gekokujyou-ing everyone. It was not until he forcefully bumped into something oddly soft that he finally opened his eyes, as he fell once more on his behind from the bump.

He blinked in surprise, and saw that it was Mukahi, who, despite just having been bumped into, was holding a high quality camera and laughing his head off.

Hiyoshi seemed not at all to mind his laughter. He merely pulled at his hair and screeched more in terror, as he warned Mukahi with incoherent shouts, "Mukahi-senpai, I'm telling you, it's that weird vampire dude from _Twilight_! He's frickin' _real_! _Twilight_ is frickin' _real_! This means that there will be _more_ fangirls in this world who will be drawn to things that drink our blood! Our generation is doomed! Zombie and vampire apocalypse will ensue! WE WILL ALL DIE! That's the scariest revelation I've seen in all these years of my _life_!"

Mukahi, enjoying himself immensely, forgot all about the curse for a bit, as he swiped the glasses out of Hiyoshi's hands. The minute the glasses left his hands, Hiyoshi's screams stopped, as he looked around in bewilderment and asked, "Why are you holding a camera, Mukahi?"

"Because you were walking toward those two poles like you were going to face the end of the world, and then you _climbed_ one of them, and _fell down_ from it, and then _ran_ like a scared little girl! I _had_ to catch scardy Hiyoshi on film!"

"Poles? No way! There was a mysterious path. There were trees, and odd crows. And Edward Cullen is real!"

Mukahi laughed some more and pointed behind Hiyoshi. The poor boy looked back in shock. There was indeed no path, no trees. There were only two poles, shiny, lustrous, seeming to stand most innocently in the sunlight. As he was still absorbing the shock, Mukahi began to play back what he had film on his camera, and as Hiyoshi peeked at the screen, he saw in horror the images of himself climbing the pole, falling off the pole, and running and screeching like a little girl as if it were the end of the world.

"What. The. Hell?" He roared furiously in disbelief, "I was _sure_ they seemed so real! Why would I have been hallucinating in broad daylight? How can I gekokujyou people if I _hallucinate _in broad daylight?"

"Uh, why else? Because you were holding Yuushi's _glasses_, remember?" Mukahi rolled his eyes as he pointed, with his free hand which was now holding Oshitari's glasses, at the camera screen. Hiyoshi looked and saw a sinister light flicker within the film.

Another flicker from Mukahi's hand suddenly caught the attentions of both. They uniformly cast their eyes onto the glasses, and a short, uncomfortable silence fell.

"Uh, Hiyoshi – " Mukahi began, but was compelled to cough a whole lot instead, for the moment he spoke, Hiyoshi darted away, leaving a trail of foul dust behind him to envelop the poor senpai.

As Mukahi's cough subsided, he glared at the front in anger. Hiyoshi was long gone by then.

He looked at the camera in his left hand.

He looked at the glasses in his right hand.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

A most tortured screech filled the campus.

* * *

Mukahi's screech had made Hiyoshi slightly uncomfortable, but as the terrifying images of the path and Edward Cullen faded, he felt much easier at heart, knowing that his generation and the world was no longer in any imaginary danger.

He would recover from this stupid glasses incident, and proceed to continue to try to gekokujyou his senpai.

As he walked on in determination, however, he could not stop a sinister phrase from echoing in his mind,

_One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses._

* * *

Next victim: Mukahi Gakuto

* * *

**Yue**: Reviews are appreciated, though I don't blame you, if you still hold a grudge against me for putting this off for too long :P.


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